Material Loss- Emotional Gain

     Yesterday was another one of those milestones in this journey I'm taking lately.  It was a difficult milestone, and one I chose to write about the day after it occurred so I could give my "filter" some time to work.  I had an appointment with a lawyer at 1:00.  Need I say more? :-) This attorney is a family friend who specializes in mortgages and property closings.  Instead of finalizing a home purchase like the other times I had been there, this time I was going to sign away my house.  Our family's home that I had literally help build would no longer be mine. The mortgage was in my name, but according to the "papers" I was required to relinquish ownership of it. It wouldn't be as bad if I had received a big equity check in exchange, but alas, that was not to be. I knew it was going to be a tough day.
     I entered the office and sat waiting for the attorney to come in with the papers.  He entered the room and I mentioned the picture that was still on his bookshelf that was taken probably 8 or 9 years ago when his family, our family, and another friend's family all went to the beach for spring break.  Our oldest sons are all the same age, and they were playing in the sand together. They were about 3 then, and are now in middle school.  It made me smile to see that picture and think back to a happier time. We talked for a while about the bleak financial situation in our school district, and then we proceeded to the paperwork. He explained each paper to me carefully, and I could tell he knew this was a difficult task for me. When he went to get a witness for the last paper I checked my phone and read two texts from a couple of friends who knew where I was at the time.  One of them caused the tears to start slowly streaming down my cheeks.  I pulled it together knowing they were coming back in the room soon. 
    After the business was over the attorney closed the door and told me he was taking off his attorney hat and wanted to know how I had been.  Obviously the tears began flowing again.  Not just for the loss I felt that day, but because I could tell he genuinely cared about how I was.  Not many people around here do, or if they do they certainly don't show it! (but that's o.k.) He began to ask me questions about how I was coping, if I had people to talk to, a support group, a church. It was a good thing to be able to tell him how far I had come, and that I was no longer in the pit I had felt trapped in a few months ago.  He then said something that amazed me.  He said "I can't even imagine what you've gone through and how hard this has been for you."  You know there are only a handful of people in this world that know what I have really gone through.  Most of you are probably reading this! To hear that from someone else just surprised me, because in most people's eyes they don't see me as the one who has suffered the heartache, loss, depression, etc.  He saw the reality though!  The words spoken in that hour came from a heart of a man exhibiting Christ-like love and acceptance. Although I was still teary when I left (and without my home) some of the tears were tears of happiness that someone saw me for who I am now, and saw me as God sees me....not perfect, but forgiven, and doing everything I can do make the best of the rest of my life.

Has It Really Been One Month?

     I just logged onto my blog site and realized my last post was on Feb. 1!  Today is Mar. 1, so it's been a whole month!  The ironic thing is I've had soooo much to write about, but just haven't had the time (or rather taken the time) to write.  If I wrote everything now it would be way too long to read.  Over the past month I've thought of several topics I wanted to write about including anger, depression, reconnecting with old friends, and of course my recent adventure in Florida.   I think I'm going to save the more serious topics for later and write about some of my Florida trip.  There are three parts to it, and here's part 1!
     I dropped the children off at school Tuesday morning after their week with me and began my journey south.  I was making really good time, and hit downtown Jacksonville in the early afternoon.  I was in the fast lane on 95 when BAM! I hit a big orange pylon that was in the center of the lane.  There was no avoiding it without hitting a car or the wall.  The pylon got STUCK under my car and was making a terrible noise.  The cars behind me all backed off as I slowly changed lanes to try and exit the freeway.  As I descended the closest off ramp the pylon broke free.  I proceeded to the the gas station at the exit to assess the damage.  It was not pretty.  The stupid plastic pylon cracked my front bumper pretty badly, and caused damage under my car too.  All the damage appeared cosmetic, so I was on my way again.  

I made it to Orlando in time for dinner, and met my first friends and ate at Bubba Gumps at City Walk inside of Universal Studios.  It was Mardi Gras, and this City Walk area was supposed to be a really "hopping" place, but it was dead.  I think the freezing cold weather had something to do with it.  Seriously. I came to Florida to escape the cold weather and cold people in SC, and even though the cold people didn't follow me the cold weather did! We had a great dinner and went to the house to watch a really funny movie: "The Rocker".  
Wednesday I just slept in and then found the closest TJ Maxx and Target.  Ate a late lunch out and then ate IHOP about midnight. (Here's where you can start seeing why I gained 2 pounds last week.)
     Thursday was the big day...my park hopping day! I started at Animal Kingdom- my first time there.  It wasn't too interesting except for the Expedition Everest roller coaster.  WOW...it was incredible!!
     Jumped on the bus and headed over to Hollywood Studios.  The only things I wanted to do there were ride the Aerosmith roller coaster and the Tower of Terror.  Failed on both accounts.  The wait was between 120 and 180 min. on both, and no fast passes were available.  I was not going to waste all my time standing in line (not to mention my ADHD) so I just walked around and enjoyed the park.
     By then my friends were off work and met me at The Magic Kingdom.  We stayed there for a while and then went to Epcot for the rest of the night. We rode a few rides that didn't have long waits.  We listened to a Moroccan band (and belly dancer), the drums in Japan, and just spent time walking through the countries.  When the family went there in the spring we missed a lot due to the torrential rains.
     We then went to Downtown Disney and ate a late dinner at House of Blues, and walked around there.  It was definitely a full and exhausting day, but I loved the fact I went to all 5 places.

 Friday I went to IKEA for the first time ever.  It's a very unique store, but my purchase of the day was made across the street at the Krispy Kreme store.  I picked up a couple dozen and went to visit my other friends who live near Orlando.  I'll write about that in my next post......