Don't Look Backwards or You'll Stumble

     I've heard bloggers use the term Wordless Wednesday, and without meaning to I had a wordless Wednesday. Several times I thought about what to write, and nothing inspired me from the book of Job yesterday, so I just didn't write.  I figure quality vs. quantity might be a good thing. 

To be honest....as far as my daily Bible reading I'm keeping up, but the chapters in Job the last two days have been incredibly boring and uninspiring......not even anything funny like Naked Noah or Job's Halitosis.

     Those of you reading this know that on Wednesday nights I go to a church that has a Divorce Care class.  Divorce Care is a curriculum that is used all over the country, and I must say is very good. http://www.divorcecare.org/ I started going to the class last November, but it was near the end of the session.  A new session started last week, so I jumped back in.  I also get their daily emails that I swear someone wrote just for me!  I thought today I would just share some of the highlights and insight the first two sessions have given me.

**They spoke about how your emotions affect your energy- that when you're going through divorce 85% of your energy is spent on emotions, and that you only have 15% of your energy left for the everyday tasks of life like work, family, cleaning, hobbies, etc.  Very true in the beginning, but I'm getting back my energy to do things like finally hanging pictures in my apartment, working on my resume, things that normal people do.

**Spiritual stability is crucial for recovery.  Why?  Because GOD is the only one who knows how deep the hurts are.  He is the only one that can heal. Despite all your losses if you gain back your relationship with God- that's a good thing.  I give that statement a thumbs up (and an Amen).

**Last night the session was talking about the road to healing.  One step is acknowledging your losses.  Some of our homework this week is to make a list of everything we've lost because of divorce.  I started my list, and it's getting longer and longer.  It's not just the tangible losses like my house or friends....it's the loss of dreams, loss of identity.  The one thing I shared with my class was the loss of my church.  I've gone to the same church for 18 years- and not just attended, but played piano most of those years, taught classes, worked with the youth, been a care pastor, kept the nursery, pretty much everything.  So now after all that I have to leave my church and church family behind and start over.   It is a major task to find another church home.  I've been spoiled for so long with exciting music, challenging and interesting sermons, loving people, and a sense of belonging. I've been to two different churches close to where I live now, but I just haven't found what I'm looking for yet.  I'm not giving up, though. 

**The session last night ended with the question, "Will I truly heal?"  The answer is yes- with time.  Experts say it takes about 5 years to get over a divorce.  I don't know that anyone truly completely gets over it, though.
It was also said that if we learn from divorce and go through refinement we have a much better chance to get over it. There's that word refinement again.  Sounds like a pattern. :-)


^{I Corinthians 5:17}Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

I know this journey has just begun, and I will go through many different emotions and phases of grieving.  This was my status update on FB not too long ago:

Two steps forward, one step back. When you've made so much forward progress, though, one step backwards is not a major setback!  

 

That's the way I see it right now.  My goal is to make a lot more steps forward and to keep looking ahead and not behind, cause if not- I'll stumble. (Literally and figuratively) :-)

 

The past should never be completely forgotten- especially the lessons learned from it- but it's not healthy to stay there.

Great song to reinforce today's thoughts:  "Don't Look Back" by Boston

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_DMh3pCiQ8 

Don't look back...
A new day is breakin'.
It's been too long since I felt this way.
I don't mind where I get taken...
The road is callin'...
Today is the day

I finally see the dawn arriving.
I see beyond the road I'm driving....

Don't look back.